Too Grown Up for College?

My first encounter with higher education has left something to be desired. I felt the doom of Medieval History when I learned three days prior to the first class that the professor still hadn’t assigned a book; at the same time, I discovered that book assignments were due to the book center by mid-October. Two and a half months late – indicative of a chronic problem? I rolled my eyes and figured it wasn’t a big deal for the first class.
I arrived 15 minutes early, forgetting my water bottle in the car and realizing that there was no way I had enough time to go back for it before class started and also realizing there was no way I could concentrate with the dry burning drought overcoming my throat. I made three trips to the water fountain during those 15 minutes.
The class is small which is fine. The professor was late which is not fine. The guy in the row next to me looks just like the principal from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. (Incidentally, he was the guy in Howard the Duck too. I don’t remember anything about that movie except that my parents watched it when I was young, the name stuck in my head, and so did Jeffrey Jones’ face – a.k.a. Ed Rooney.)
Class was scheduled to begin at 7 pm. At 7:10, I remembered why I was always so annoyed in Jr. High school: Correlation? Our first “class” was held in a middle school. It’s because I could never sit back in my chair to be comfortable because my hair would get wrapped around the head of that screw on the chair back that held it onto the frame. EVERY TIME. If I for a moment forgot or ignored this simple requirement for perfect posture, the second I tried to lean over my school book or scoot forward to write some notes, I received an abrupt and tear-inducing reminder. Somehow, even hairs from the front of my head, like just in front of my ears, managed to get tangled on that mean screw. Seriously, grab a pinchful of hair from your hairline just above an ear and yank them out. HOLY SHIT!
And people wondered why I never smiled back then. Pain…lots of pain.
That memory came screeching back as I ripped out about 12 hairs from the base of my skull. So I have to endure this professor’s tardiness and apparent incompetence while suffering some weird Chinese hair-pulling torture.
At 7:20 the proctor person who directed us all to our proper rooms – since we were meeting at a different building than we will henceforward – informed us that she hadn’t heard from Professor MIA and that we were free to go or we could stick around another 10 minutes if we so desired. Everyone in the room too immature to vote this year wooted, attached cell phones to ears, and ran out. The rest of us discussed the inconvenience momentarily only to discover that none of us had any more information regarding course materials or the alleged instructor. So class dismissed.
Seems I had enough time to go back for the water bottle after all. Thus concludes Day 1 of College.
Status: Confidence in institutions of higher learning is waning. Hoping tonight’s class inspires a bit more.

3 thoughts on “Too Grown Up for College?

  1. My first class talked about the scientific method, something MB teaches her 4th graders! Woo-hoo! And if that wasn’t enough, I have a syllabus quiz this Friday! Yea higher education!


  2. You’d think a professor of Medieval History would be concerned enough about job security to show up for class. I don’t think there are hordes of people competing for the position….
    It can only get better from this point, right?


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