A month into the new job. It’s good. People are all nice and helpful and pleasant to work with.
It can be tedious and repetitive, but it’s a paycheck and fullfilling my current needs, so I’ll take it.
Forty hours a week, plus parenting two teenagers and a pre-teen (one of which is having serious medical/neurological needs at the moment and missing tons of school), plus 16 hours a week at the part-time job, plus trying to complete all the course work from last semester, plus, plus, plus…it’s exhausting.
I have little expectation of actually completely the course work from last semester under the present conditions, so that’s $9k I just added to my student loans with nothing to show for it. I think it’s time to put that dream of an English/Writing degree and becoming an editor to bed for good. I’ve been wasting too much energy on what could be or what might be or what I’m hoping for instead of directing my energy and focus on what is.
It’s time to be present in right now and put away all the distracting and wasteful wishes.